There’s been an ongoing theme creeping up on me. Maybe it’s because I’m writing a comedy, or I’m running out of canvas, but lately I have one goal in life: I don’t want to die like Mark Twain.
The man was a genius and his shit is STILL relevant. Unfortunately as he got older he grew more cynical ( as most people) do. The poor guy died broke and bitter. That sounds like hell to me. He mostly wrote short stories and articles and such. Not exactly high paying gigs.
I’m not trying to compare myself to one of the greatest writers in American Literature, but I’m a writer-it’s what we do. We tear ourselves down and aim really fucking high. It’s the biggest shit storm.
But damn. Broke and bitter. I just can’t fathom anything being worth that. Broke, I can do. I was raised broke, been broke, will probably be broke again-once my tax refund runs out. Money doesn’t bother me the way it does some people. It’s not something I feel I need to base my life around. This is probably why I’ll never be rich. haha
Writing for the love of it leaves you open to the possibility of poverty. Sacrifices must be made along the way, and some days skipping meals is the only way to keep gas money for the writer’s convention that’s three hours away.
But bitterness? Nope. I just can’t bring myself to ever let it fully consume me. I imagine a lot of you are saying: Give it time, hun. You’re still young. But for real, I see two options. Become the cranky old lady no one wants to see, or gracefully transform into the cute little old lady that listens to kid’s stories and sometimes makes cookies for everyone. The latter sounds way more fun. Okay, I guess there is that 3rd option that I could off myself, or will die before my time’s up. (One can only hope-JK, it’s a JOKE people!)
Writers have the magical superpower of over-examining the world around them. It’s got that whole “gift and a curse” romance to it. It can also wear you down over the years.
The bright idealistic kids who are freaking out about the state of the country right now are the dreamers. I remember those days. When you get so riled up over what the media tells you to, that you jump on a cause before it’s properly researched. These days I live in the middle. Balance is what I strive for. Having a heart AND a brain sounds way better. Vesting my time, effort, and money into real change.
Lately I have come in contact with a new wave of challenges that threaten to unleash bitterness, and I will not give in. The older I get the more I realize that every generation goes through what we are all experiencing. Reading classic literature soothes my nerves because 100 and 200 years ago people were concerned with the same issues we face today: crooked politicians, education, and financial stability.
But I had a less than easy childhood. There were no rose colored glasses to take off, I knew what people were from an early age. Being a middling Libertarian, I try to stay out of shit-everyone hates me and my political party. Conservatives and Liberals don’t agree on much, except when it comes to shitting on people who want more than the Coke or Pepsi politics this country has fallen for.
Every now and then I get sucked into political discourse and what erks me is that the Trump supporters can often be way more respectful than Leftists. Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe it’s just me.
I have a wide range of friends from diverse backgrounds. Most are just cool to let me be me because I want them to be who they are. But damn, what bothers me about the other side, the extreme “anti-fascists” is that they refuse to accept factual based evidence when presented with anything that they do not agree with.
I am against censorship, but believe in using language appropriately. I am against racism, but believe that racism against white people exists too. I am against Trump, but didn’t support Hillary. I am against fascism, but do not believe that all white men in power are Hitler.
You’d think these are pretty reasonable statements, but to some far left individuals what I just said is infuriating. It bothers me more than when I get into it with alt-right cuckoos who don’t believe in Climate change, or think that all black people are racist against white people. Probably because I lean more LEFT. haha I try to be unbiased, but damn Trump makes everyone on the right look so fucking bad.
It’s almost as if the young college kids who want to burn books in the name of “anti-fascism” have to one-up Trump in stupidity. What’s the first rule of semantics? “When you become obsessed with the enemy, you become the enemy.”
It’s flip sides of the fucking fascist coin. Rioting and advocating for Shria law to be allowed in the US in the name of feminism, freedom, or open-mindedness makes everyone on the left look like idiots.
This is why my writing continues. This is why I am threatened to become a bitter, broke writer. haha (Among many other reasons-but I’m focusing on this today because it’s relevant)
Just because you do not like the statistics, or the factual evidence that disproves how you “feel” about an issue, does not give you the right to become violent and dangerous. Anger cannot solve hate. Displaced anger is what will be our doom, not white men, not black men, not the neo-feminists, not Muslims, not refugees.
This was all sparked because I was told by a very self-important white male yesterday (who believes he needs to change the world through telling other people to fuck off in the name of democracy and freedom) that what a person says doesn’t matter, it’s what you infer that matters. Actually it is quite the opposite.
I am not a mind reader. People assume and infer based off of their own frame-of-reference and/or bias. It can often lead to misinterpretation and division-look at our country right now. Encouraging that is kind of asinine.
You want people to have a better understanding of your thoughts and ideas, then say what you mean and mean what you say. I can’t tell you how many times a young left-wing acquaintance got all hung up and persnickety over a typos I made. But when it happened on their end, pointing it out is “petty”.
The double-standards are what is really killing us. You cannot assume the high-ground by calling someone names after scolding them for name-calling. I don’t care who you are, where you come from, what you believe, or who you’re attracted to. Two wrongs will NEVER make a right.
Truth is all that matters. Unfortunately humans are obsessed with believing their own made up truths. The polarization, victim mentality, and them-verses-us narrative is just making it easier for our leaders to do more shit behind our backs. They’re giving themselves more power everyday and taking rights from us one-by-one.
That’s terrifying. But life was never meant to be a swim in the pond. Laughter is the only way to keep hope alive. It’s a necessity that will hopefully combat cynicism, skepticism, and bitterness. That and wine. But who knows.
Respect, REAL respect-not that phony shit a lot of conservatives and liberals tout around, is important. It starts with understanding and love. I love writing, and sharing stories that make people laugh or think. It’s not much, but it’s my contribution for now.
Maybe I suck at it. Maybe I suck at everything. I mean, I am a Libertarian, I’M the reason Trump got in (if you ask Hillary supporters, even though she won the popular vote). One of the best ways to understand other people is to never assume that anyone else is less intelligent than you, let them prove it own their own. haha (Just Kidding-kind of)